A letter to Bill Gates

Dear Sir,

It's rare that I should even write
To someone such as you,
But to tell you of my sorry plight
was too hard not to do.

My ROM is mixed up with my RAM,
My hard disc must have slipped;
My inbox overflows with spam:
My PC's lid has flipped.

A Trojan worm (or whatever it's called)
Has crept into our midst, ere
My PC must be overhauled -
It's too old to run Vista.

My Start button stops dead in its tracks;
It's killed off all my joy,
And when all else fails, I launch attacks
Using Spybot Search and Destroy.

The damn thing's far too slow, you see,
It's truly starting to lumber!
Thirteen spybots on my PC:
A hardly lucky number.

Oh, Mr Gates, I hate to moan
About my PC's sad prowess
But leave my poor machine alone
To cope with its obsolete OS.

Don't move the goalposts, Mr G.,
By releasing something new
That hardly works (but looks PDG) -
For now, XP will have to do.