Hi all, I'm friends with Cyber...I saw the link to here on her forum a while back, and I've finally joined to share some of my writing. I'm always writing down ideas as excerpts of stories and then not completing them...I think my best so far is about 10,000 words on one or two of them.
This one got to about 1,300 before I stopped writing. I hope to do more work on all of my ideas someday, but I've never been that confident in my writing. I'd appreciate feedback or any comments
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She lay on her back in the mud and watched the lights of the car fade into the distance as it drove away. The rain was falling hard, and she was soaked to the skin; her chest felt tight and she could barely breathe. But the burning in her lungs was nothing compared to the agony of the multitude of wounds in her abdomen. She'd lost count of the number of times the knife had slashed into her body, and she thought about the terror of being beaten and then tied up in the car, and being brought to this place. He'd laughed as he'd thrown her into the mud, and she'd screamed her terror and pain to the dark dank woods. Then he'd driven away and she was lying in the mud and the rain, alone in the dark and bleeding to death. She fought back a sob; she was so afraid, she'd always been afraid of the dark. Struggling to take a breath she choked as she felt her chest constrict; then coughed and coughed and finally gagged as her mouth filled with blood. She spat it out and tried to lie still, but she was shivering violently because she was so cold.
She lay there. Time passed.
The downpour slowed to a gentle rain, and finally stopped and the clouds drifted away to reveal a bright full moon riding high. Still she lay there unable to move and still bleeding, feeling herself growing ever weaker as her life slipped away. Suddenly she heard movement off to the side of her, and held her breath trying to listen; she began to pray silently in her mind that the wild creatures of the forest hadn't found her. Movement sounded again, and voices murmuring close by, she tried to draw breath to call out for help - it couldn't be him she hadn't heard the car return. Maybe whoever these people were they could help her.
A twig snapped, and she jumped violently then gasped at the agony the movement caused. The voices grew louder, and she strained her ears to listen. Then they were closer, and she could tell there was a man and a woman. The woman's voice was lilting and musical, the man's rich and deep and they were moving closer and closer.
She tried to call out then, and endured another coughing fit for her pains - but it served its purpose, for it seemed that they heard her, she lay there desperately trying to breathe and suddenly they were there in front of her.
Tall and slender, dressed in dark clothes and wreathed in shadows, the woman knelt by her side and touched her face, then tilted her head to look up at her companion. "She is very weak Sabien, all but gone - she has lost too much blood to be made whole again in this mortal body." She looked down again, and trailed a finger down the cold white face again, "So very pretty...such a waste."
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Fri Oct 12, 2007 12:32 pm
